My Lord,

This past week has been one of quiet and profound reflection.  Truly it has.  And for that I THANK YOU. 

Because of my work schedule, I was off last Wednesday and Thursday and not scheduled to go in until Friday afternoon.  I just happened upon...and as I typed that, maybe it was the Holy Spirit that provoked me.  In any event, I was on my way to get some sushi and listening to WAVA 105.1 with Dr. and Pastor Tony Evans.  His series was titled Sanctified Sex.  Having sex outside of God's will.

Although I am celibate, I was still very much interested.  I was actually glued to the radio and taping the series with my iPAD.  I was so wishing that it was a Power Point Presentation for today's youth.  It was truly powerful.  It led me to write a very honest, powerful and heart-wrenching poem that will be published in my next book.  I was able to take a long look at my past and with a glad and guilt free heart, I was smiling that I am no longer that person.  As you know, we have a covenant that I truly cherish and am very proud of.  My friends don't understand and that bothers me in the least.  This is truly something that I will stand by and will not waver on.

I did not grow up with the word and I had no idea what my worth was and how my niave and selfish actions were against your covenant.  Even though I married, I did not save myself for my wedding night.  With that and everything that has happened since my divorce, I am choosing to do it right, the next time.  No I cannot have my virginity back, but I can have a second chance according to your word.

My sins are forgiven and I am saving "myself" for the man you are preparing to be my husband.  That brings me joy unimaginable.

It is my deepest desire to reach many young girls or women for that matter and in effort to get her to see that she is your Princess Bride as am I.  We are worth more than a sexual token for a man's unlimited gratification.  Yes, it has some personal pleasure for the female, but in the end, that few minutes of pleasure surely leaves you feeling empty, guilty, shameful and used.  At least, that's how I felt and it is indeed a feeling I want to never feel again.  I want to know that on that special occasion, that special night with my future husband...not only will he be pleased, but You Father, will be pleased also.

Eternally yours