Father God, oh how I adore You and the Majesty that surrounds You. I cannot even begin to word, thank, express or compile my love for You and what You mean to me...and if truth be told, YOU can say that back to me with a such profound simplicity. "Beloved, look at the Cross."
About two nights ago, I laid in bed, reflecting on Your Presence in my life, the truths You shared that day and what the Holy Spirit brought to my limited awareness....
I think it touched me even deeper than previous days, as the news kept reporting and repeating that the death toll here is in excess of 100,00. I had been checking regularly at the global impact as I prayed and wept and held my heavy head and heart low in such disbelief...but still holding onto to what You promised and what You are doing in the midst of all these souls passing away.
You indeed know the depths of me and that in no way scares me because I want to be known by You and I don't want to be deceived in any way believing that You only see my "good side." I want You to know my heart, the compassion I have for others, as well as my critical assumptions and my ungodly thoughts. Whatever is gonna lead me to repentance, expose it in Jesus' name!!!
However, on this particular night, I was thinking something in my head that I know to well. Something that I embrace and am not afraid of. Death is inevitable and it is unstoppable. But the peace that I have is that not one single soul leaves this earth without Your Divine knowledge. You God permit and ordain. Your Word says that You are the giver and the taker. Your Word says that You have planned every single day before one begins to take shape. Your Word says that You are the Begin and the End. You are the "bookends" for this entire human race.
My prayer Lord God is that You prepare me, not for the death..., that goes without saying...I cannot lie and say that I do not fear the "manner" because who wants it to be painful or longsuffering?
My prayer is that You would prepare every single member of my family for the loss of life to come. Only You know who is next in my family of origin and in this blood line that You have placed me in.
In my heart, I named every name, parent, sibling, child, grandchild, niece, nephew, cousin, aunt, uncle, and in law. I don't know the deepest hearts of my beloved, and I don't know what the object of their faith is. I know that death catches everyone of us off guard (even when the man in the white coat) attempts to give an estimated life expectancy.
My loved ones know that I love this JESUS and they know to WHOM I have placed my faith and they have watched and are watching me life out my faith. AND, they know who I used to be and the lifestyle that I once lived. Even my dad knows the degree to which I will not be swayed.
My prayer is that YOU would prepare each heart for the loss of the next family member, and the next and the next...especially my children and my grangirls.
When I die and I indeed welcome that with great anticipation. ONLY because the greatest joy for the believer is that death here is entrance into new life in eternity with YOU, our Creator! NO more of this broken, dark, sin stained world.
The prayer for myself is that YOU would prepare me for the biggest transition of my life. To meet with You face-to-face. I have been in this race for twelve years now, (May 4th) was my spiritual birthday and I am still learning, growing, discovering, failing, hungry and thirsty for this gospel and this Jesus. I have still so far to go in my mind's eye. However, You have called many home, regardless of age or accomplishment...
So when my eyes close on the final curtain in this life, I know that it is because You want to see me personally and it is not because of something caused by man or the adversary. Because YOU God are unstoppable. Neither the deeds of man, nor the works of satan can thwart You plans.
GLORY HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!
So, exhale... again, my prayer is that You would finish the work You began in me, according to Philippians 1:6...
Show me, day after day, all the things that You want to do through me and how You want to use this precious gift of life that Jesus died to give me. Show me the things that Denise are doing that You want me to stop or put to the side. Guide me in the areas of ministry that advance Your Kingdom and Glorify Your great name.
Please continue my pursuit of scripture truth and biblical principles. Please keep pouring afresh Your Holy Spirit in my life, through my thoughts and govern my steps in the ways that best reflect Your Son.
Please help me to finish well and to finish strong like the saints who have already arrived home. As I watched the home going of Ravi Zacharias the other day, his testimony was that even after 57 years, he was still thrilled that You came for him as a 17 year old who tried to take his life.
Lord, I know full well who I used to be, but I am certain that if You were to give me the #entire video of my life before You and apart from the Holy Spirit...
Oh GOD that we would wrap our human brains around this truth: We will never, ever know all that Jesus forgave us for and we will never, ever know all that Jesus saved us from.
LORD, please I pray, wake up the church of Jesus Christ and prepare Your Bride for the coming Wedding. In Your precious name, amen!
I Magnify Your name... Philippians 2:10-11...#InevitableAndUnstoppable!!!
Eternally yours...
