How real is God...?
Let me tell you...
It's April 20, 2020, and currently 12:38 am. I'm sitting at my desk. Not the Detective Sergeant desk that I occupied for over seventeen years. Not the midnight watch commander's desk, waiting for a code one assignment while trying to convince my eyelids not to close. BUT, to God be the glory, I'm sitting at my desk in North Beach, Maryland. It's funny now that I think about this desk. I remember saying back in 2016, "Now that I'm retired, I probably won't make much money. So, what is it that I want with my last paycheck?" I bought this desk from Ikea and I also purchased a Keurig coffee maker. And I wrote THANK YOU on both when they arrived.
Now, sitting at my desk, I hear the waves just outside my window and I'm still in awe that I get to live here. These are my favorite memories. When the beach is empty and quiet. I absolutely love having the beach to myself. I still have some selfish tendencies and God is still working on me. This is considered the Jewel of the Bay so it can get quite busy and quite loud. THE BUGS ARE INSANE in the summer months. But, the fall and winter....WOW! And, the sunrise....ANOTHER WOW! Oh and the snow....another wow!!! Oh, and how can I forget the MOON over the water?!! Speechless at times.
I was just reading Psalms and reflecting on His goodness in my life and the promises that He's kept and made and are still keeping and making. Then I got up to warm up my coffee and when I came back to my desk, I glanced over at my book. As I was being seduced by the sound of the waves, I remembered a poem I'd written in my first book. Recalling when I first moved here, I kind of, sort of had a toddler tantrum (no one knew this) but it was because I was not allowed to sign a two year lease. There was so many new things happening in my life and so many life altering changes, so I was looking forward to moving in, calling this home and having to move a year later. I'd just filed for bankruptcy and had to foreclose on my home in Waldorf. All of this was new to me....leasing a condo and having to get my credit back in working order. Not to mention, moving forward without my four-legged best friend. Some fears lingered for sure. BUT the view and the waves, they gradually took the anxiety away and the PRESENCE of a Holy God gently guided me into a personal relationship with the Lover of my soul. WHO KNEW??? Well I sure didn't....
Anyway....I started the question with how real is GOD? The below poem is in my first book and it was written before this beautiful blessed gift became my address and has been for almost nine years.
"Dear Diary,
I am doing well and I am in a happy place. My life is peaceful and I don't have any distractions that keep me from hearing God's voice. I have put on a few pounds and I have picked up a couple of gray strands, but overall, I still look fabulous.
I am looking forward to my birthday. I'm going to spend a week at the beach and I'm super excited. God has been so gracious to me in spite of my behavior. He is indeed my saving grace. I don't who I would be or where I would be without Him beside me. He holds me accountable for my words and my actions and I've never had that before. I am trying my best to walk like Him and with the solitude and journaling, it's all coming together.
All the things in the past, are just that to me; things in the past. I am looking forward to making new memories and having dreams fulfilled. He promised me in His Word and I believe Him.
In closing, I just wanted to put the truth out there. I'm happy with or without someone. And it's truly liberating!"
When I wrote that poem, I was planning to spend a week in Ocean City, Maryland.
Speaking of dreams coming true. Here are just a few:
*Finding my birth father...
*Living here...
*Publishing two books...
*The way in which I retired...
*Financially blessing others...
*Counseling others...
*Being Loved Unconditionally...
Because He is a GOD who cannot lie, there is so much more in store! Ephesians 3:20-21!
Eternally His
The freedom to be me. Just simply being me!
