Reflecting on some of what King Solomon said. I can so relate.
"In my opinion, nothing is worthwhile; everything is futile. For what does a man get for all his hard work? Generations come and go, but it makes no difference. The sun rises and sets and hurries around to rise again. The wind blows south and north, here and there, twisting back and forth, getting nowhere. The rivers run into the sea, but the sea is never full, and the water returns again to the rivers and flows again to the sea…everything is unutterably weary and tiresome. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied; no matter how much we hear, we are not content. History nearly repeats itself. Nothing is truly new; it has all been done or said before. What can you point to that is new? How do you know it didn't exist long ages ago? We don't remember what happened in those former times, and in the future generations no one will remember what we have done back here." Ecclesiastics 1:2-11 (TLB)
Looking back over some significant seasons of my life, I did not want to fornicate, out of naïveness, it just kind of...sort of happened. I never day dreamed of being a mom as lots of other girls did. It literally happened because there was no planning and no birth control. I had no desire to be a June bride. I actually believed myself to be "in love" and poof, before I knew it, the marriage ended. I didn't know that I was a so-called workaholic. I really thought I was simply providing for my family as best I could. Who knew that ALL those years of hard work would amount to filing for bankruptcy and foreclosing on my home? Retirement was never, ever on my radar! BUT now that I am...I STILL SMILE WIDE AND SAY, "WOW GOD!"
In years past, all I ever heard prior to this season was people talking about traveling…seeing the world; going here, there and everywhere. When I was young the beach was my "happy place!" As an adult, I quietly hoped for a home on the water. At one point, I used to long to go to Paris just because it sounded so romantic. And then once I became a Christian, I desperately wanted to go to Israel, to walk where He walked and see the "tomb!" Because of HIS undeserved grace, I actually have the resources to leave today. BUT truthfully speaking, there is no where I desire to be except at His feet. He answered a quiet prayer in a little girl's heart many, many years ago and yes, six years into my dream come true, I still get to live in North Beach. As I sit here at my desk, with the wind fervently blowing, waves swiftly collapsing against the shore and water as far as my eyes can see...my #only desire is to sit at the feet of Jesus like Mary did and quietly and lovingly glean from whatever comes from His lips.
Father in heaven, in Jesus' name, that is my heartfelt prayer. Amen!
