For My Lord,
Thank you that you are a God of absolute completion. As I was listening to Kara and Jason's compelling and heartfelt story on Focus on the Family, I wept at the end. There will be many, many things left undone in my day to day living as well as at the end of my life, but one thing that is settled and will remain complete is my gift of salvation from you.
For those who have confessed their sins, repented with a pure heart and who have surrendered to the cross, have an eternal life awaiting them in heaven. Yes, we will be with you when our heartbeat stops here on earth. [Romans 10:8-10]
It is something that the non-believer can never comprehend and it will still be a very difficult season [Ecclesiates 3:1-8] of grieving and mourning to many who do believe, because the flesh is and will always be a weak vessel. That is why our absolute strength must be in you and you alone.
We cannot "completely grasp" the finality of death and the absolute "feeling" of loss when it comes to those that we love, and even those that we do not know. As mortals, we tend to use the word "emptiness" but if we allow ourselves to sit with YOU and to be filled with your presence, there is never an emptiness...not even when our dearest ones pass on.
Father, because of Kara's story and the fact that she is dying of cancer, I am inspired to write this post for my children and my grandchildren. Hoping that when I print this blog-book and present it to them for Christmas, that they will treasure these writings from my heart. As Kara said it best when she said that her blog was her heart.
You know that for most of my life, I was an introvert and for the most part, when I'm not praising you or writing poetry, I'm still quite shy. But because of my salvation and freedom in you, I began sharing the most intimate parts of myself via the internet and with the courtesy of "Google" and this thing called blogging. Yes, I love that all "things" come from above....even blogging. Lol
Although you have spiritually gifted me with the gift of exhorter, my natural gift also comes from you and that is to write. I have since I was a little girl and I cannot not write...hence the many blogs, diaries, journals, and books.
So with my Free Spirit Butterfly blog, my Law Enforcement blog, my Poetry blog and my North Beach Journey blog, I pray that my children will read my writings, see my photographs and know that when this life "here on earth" ends for me, that they can rest assured that I am with you. They can find peace in knowing the depth of my love for you and the trust that I've so wholeheartedly placed in you.....something that I was never able to do with man.
I pray that they will come to know you deeper and deeper with every word and every written story and or blog entry. I pray that they will continue in their own journey with you wanting #more of you as I have and that they will seek to please you, lean in toward your will, confide in you and have those personal conversations with you knowing that you listen with a loving and compassionate ear and most of all believing with their own hearts that no matter how much I love them, and no matter how hard I try and have tried, I can only "try" to express what they mean to me in my "perception" of what love is to me and what it means to be their mom.
BUT, most importantly, I want them to know that YOUR love surpasses anything a human can give or extend to another human. That no love compares and will ever compare to the love that you lavish on your children. So with that, I want my beloved children, Tatiana and Alex to know that their mommy wants them to come to JESUS in their time of mourning and in the seasons of suffering because there is healing in YOU and nothing can fill the emptiness but the heart's ability to let you in.
I pray that they would not become angry or bitter and that they would not hold onto or get stuck in what they wished could have happened. I pray that they would know that your plan [Jeremiah 29:11-14] is perfect and ALL things do work together for good for those who have been called and for those who love you. [Romans 8:28]
I pray that after their tears of sadness, that they would celebrate each moment and go on with their lives resting in complete confidence that I am rejoicing with the Lover of my soul and the one who kept his promise to bring me to glory when I'm done down here.
Lord, I trust you with my children and I trust that what you have planned for them as well as the future of my gran-girls, Jazmine and Tyonna is something that was planned before time began [Psalm 139] and that nothing can prevent your will from coming full circle.
I believe with every fiber of my being when you breathe the word into existence and left it here for us as a guide on how to live here until your return.
Yes, I believe in John 10:28 when you said, "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand." NIV
"I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me." NLT
Eternally yours
