My Lord,

How are you today?  I just felt the need to ask you that.  I usually go on and on about me, my life and stuff...I long to hear from you and sit and listen.

Deep breath...

I'm sitting at my table and listening to praise music.  The waves are just outside and cover my view from left to right in my big living room window.  This sacred space comforts me more than I could ever put into words or on paper.  You did this amazing thing for me and I still can't believe that I live here. 

My word is BELIEVE and every time you bless me and show me your glory, I find myself in disbelief.  I do believe and I do feel worthy...it just is not what "I" planned for my life.  Lol

Last night the women were so happy to see me, it overwhelmed me.  I'd been away for the last three meetings and they said that they had missed me because I'm the talker and that I was Barnabas.  It made me cry.  Jackie called me Barnabas before and I truly never saw myself as an encourager.  Not with the life that I led.  The fear and insecure little girl who was afraid to speak up and afraid of hurting someone because of all the hurt she had endured.  I just wanted to please everyone and say, "yes." 

Now, looking back, your purpose has come together all as you planned it.  Knowing that you've ordered my steps long before my parents met makes me laugh.  It is so exciting not knowing what today or tomorrow will bring.  I am not afraid.  I trust you and the future you're preparing for me.  If I had anything to do with it, I'd surely mess it up.  My track record speaks for itself.

That is exactly why I'm sitting in my still place and patiently awaiting your instructions.  No desire to be of this world and no desire to have anything that you have not ordained specifically for Denise.

Last night's verse was awesome and something I'd never read before: Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.  WOW!  My God will do that for me?  Yes, he will.  He loves me like no one walking this earth and boy does that free me from society's expectations and opinions of me.

Deep breath...

Eternally yours